A man can be bisexual when he feels romantic or sexual attraction to more than one gender, whether or not he has acted on those feelings.
Plenty of men grow up with the idea that they must be either straight or gay. Anything in between gets brushed off as a phase, a joke, or a sign that something is wrong. Then a crush on a guy pops up next to a crush on a woman, and the question hits hard: can men be bisexual, or does this mean something else entirely?
Here you will find clear language about bisexuality in men, common myths, real-life patterns, and some gentle next steps if this question feels personal.
What Does It Mean When A Man Is Bisexual?
Bisexuality is a word for attraction to more than one gender. A man who is bisexual can feel sexual or romantic pull toward men, women, and people of other genders. That attraction can be strong, light, sudden, long term, or anything in between.
APA notes that attraction and relationships can involve more than one gender, and that orientation sits on a wide spectrum, not in narrow boxes.1 Planned Parenthood explains that people who feel drawn to more than one gender often use the word bisexual for themselves.2
Attraction, Behavior, And Identity
- Attraction: Who you feel drawn to in your head, in your body, or in your daydreams.
- Behavior: Who you date, kiss, flirt with, or have sex with.
- Identity: The word you choose for yourself, if you choose one at all.
These three parts do not always line up. A man may only have dated women so far, but still feel real interest in men. Another man may have had sex with men in the past yet mostly dates women now. Each of these men can still be bisexual if attraction to more than one gender feels real inside.
Sexuality Can Shift Over Time
For some people, attraction looks steady across many years. For others, it bends and shifts. A man might notice interest in men only later in life, or he might feel that his pull toward men or women goes up and down at different points. Planned Parenthood notes that sexual orientation is a natural part of who you are and can change across your life course.3
This does not make bisexuality less valid; it simply shows how changeable human desire can be.
Can Men Be Bisexual? Myths And Realities
Men often hear the same tired claims about bisexuality again and again. Those claims come from fear, lack of information, or plain old prejudice. Looking at them one by one makes the pattern clearer.
| Common Myth About Bisexual Men | What Research And Experts Say | What That Means In Real Life |
|---|---|---|
| “Men who say they are bi are secretly gay.” | Studies and professional groups describe bisexuality as a distinct orientation, not a halfway stop between straight and gay.1,4 | A man can be bi and truly attracted to more than one gender, not just “on his way” to something else. |
| “Bisexual men are confused or indecisive.” | GLAAD notes that bisexual people are not confused or lying; attraction to more than one gender stands on its own.5 | Questioning your label can be normal, but your feelings are real even while you sort through words. |
| “Once a man dates a guy, he can never be seen as straight again.” | Experts separate behavior from orientation. One kind of experience does not erase other attractions. | A straight man can try something once and still feel little ongoing pull toward men; a bi man often feels lasting attraction to more than one gender. |
| “Bisexual men are more likely to cheat.” | Cheating links to honesty and boundaries, not to orientation. | A bi man can choose monogamy or non-monogamy just like anyone else. Values and agreements matter far more. |
| “Bisexuality is just a phase in college.” | Long-term studies show many people keep a bi identity and attraction pattern well into midlife and beyond. | Some people outgrow a label, but for many men bisexuality is a steady part of who they are. |
| “If you have not acted on it, you cannot call yourself bi.” | APA notes that people can claim an orientation even without sexual experience.4 | Crushes, fantasy, and emotional pull can be enough for a man to see himself as bisexual. |
| “Bisexual men spread infections more.” | Health risks depend on protection, partner number, and testing habits, not on the label itself. | Careful safer-sex choices matter for everyone, no matter how they identify. |
When you look past the myths, a simple truth shows up: many men are bisexual, and research treats this as a natural way that attraction can work.1,4,6
How Bisexual Attraction Can Show Up For Men
Men describe bisexual attraction in many ways. The patterns below are common, but you do not need to match all of them to take your feelings seriously.
Mixed Crush History
A man may notice that his early crushes included boys and girls, or that his crush list widened with age. Maybe the main pull seemed to lean toward women in school, then a strong crush on a guy friend landed out of nowhere in his twenties. That cluster of feelings can leave him asking what word fits best.
Attraction In Fantasy And Media
Some men feel more varied attraction in their head than in their daily life. They might watch romantic or adult scenes with male and female performers and feel turned on by both. They might see themselves in a relationship with more than one gender during daydreams, even if their dating history looks more narrow on paper.
Bisexual Men And Sexual Health
Health advice for bisexual men often centers on safer sex and regular screening. Sites such as the NHS sexual health guidance for gay and bisexual men set out clear recommendations for testing and protection.7
Protection And Testing
If a man has more than one partner, or partners of more than one gender, his chances of meeting a sexually transmitted infection can go up because there are more people in the mix. Using condoms or other barriers, getting regular checkups, and talking openly about testing helps reduce those risks for everyone involved. Health agencies recommend regular screening for men who have sex with men, even when they feel fine, because many infections show no early signs.7
Mental And Emotional Wellbeing
Bisexual men can face stress from several sides at once. Some feel judged by straight people, while others feel pushed aside in gay spaces. Research from services linked with the National Health Service in England notes that lesbian, gay, bi, and trans people often face extra pressures around health and daily life.8 Those pressures can feed low mood, anxiety, or substance use, so talking with a trusted friend, a helpline, or a trained therapist who knows LGBTQ issues can help. You deserve care that respects your orientation and does not try to change it.
Labels, Language, And Coming Out As A Bi Man
Not every man who feels attraction to more than one gender wants to use the word bisexual. Some prefer words such as pansexual, queer, fluid, or no label at all. Others feel closely tied to bisexual as a term with history and weight.
Choosing A Word Or Skipping Labels
You have the right to choose language that feels honest for you. Some men like the clarity that comes from saying “I am bisexual” out loud. Others prefer softer wording such as “I am attracted to more than one gender” or “I am not straight.” Both paths are valid.
It can help to read descriptions from groups that work with bi and pan people, such as Planned Parenthood’s sexual orientation information or the APA material on bisexuality.1,2 Seeing how others put words to their feelings can spark your own phrasing.
Deciding Who To Tell
Coming out is not a one-time event. Many men tell different people at different times. You might start with one person you trust deeply, then widen that circle if it feels safe. There is no rule that says you must tell family, co-workers, or anyone else before you feel ready.
Questions Men Often Ask Themselves
| Common Question | What It Might Point To | Helpful Next Step |
|---|---|---|
| “Do my feelings for men and women both count?” | Mixed attraction can line up well with a bi pattern. | Write a short list of past crushes and see how wide it runs. |
| “What if I have never dated a man?” | Orientation is about attraction, not only experience. | Notice how you react to people of different genders in daily life. |
| “Am I just curious or experimenting?” | Curiosity can be part of learning, but lasting pull often says more. | Give yourself time and keep watching how your feelings settle. |
| “Will anyone take me seriously as a bi man?” | Many people still hold myths about bi men. | Look for friends, partners, or groups that respond with respect. |
| “What if my attractions shift again later?” | Fluid patterns do not erase who you are right now. | Allow room for change while using the label that fits best today. |
Dating, Relationships, And Faithfulness For Bisexual Men
Dating can raise extra questions for bisexual men. Partners sometimes worry that attraction to more than one gender means constant temptation or a plan to leave. It can help to look at what bi men say about their own relationships.
Monogamy And Commitment
Many bisexual men choose monogamous relationships and stay faithful for decades, while others prefer open or polyamorous arrangements and say so clearly from the start. Orientation does not dictate behavior; what matters is agreement on boundaries and honest talk about how you want to live together.
Handling Jealousy And Stereotypes
Jealousy can flare when a partner thinks “I can never be enough, because you are drawn to more than one gender.” That fear is common, but it does not match how many bi men actually love. Attraction to more than one gender does not mean you need several partners at once; reassurance comes from daily behavior such as honesty, reliability, and care.
Finding Information And Connection As A Bisexual Man
Clear information and kind voices can ease a lot of stress. Many organisations now publish guides for bi people and those who care about them. GLAAD, for instance, offers clear language on what bisexuality is and is not in its reference page on bisexual people.5
Online Resources
Online resources can offer language, personal essays, and research summaries that help you feel less alone. Planned Parenthood’s pages on sexual orientation and APA materials on bisexuality repeat a shared point: attraction to more than one gender is a natural part of human diversity, not a problem that needs a cure.1,2,3,4
Final Thoughts On Bisexual Men
So, can men be bisexual? Yes. Men can feel genuine, lasting attraction to more than one gender and choose the word bisexual, or any nearby label, to describe that reality. That attraction can show up in fantasy, in crushes, in deep emotional bonds, and in the full sweep of long-term relationships.
If you are reading this and seeing yourself in these paragraphs, you are not alone and you are not broken. You deserve safety, affection, and honesty in every part of your life. Labels are tools you can pick up or put down as needed; your inner truth matters more than any single word.
References & Sources
- APA.“Understanding Bisexuality.”Describes bisexuality as a distinct orientation and outlines how attraction and relationships can involve more than one gender.
- Planned Parenthood.“Sexual Orientation.”Explains common labels, including bisexuality, and states that attraction to more than one gender is natural.
- Planned Parenthood.“What Causes Sexual Orientation?”Notes that sexual orientation is a natural part of who you are and can change across your life.
- NHS.“Sexual Health For Gay And Bisexual Men.”Gives guidance on safer sex, testing, and screening for men who have sex with men.
- NHS Digital.“Sexual Orientation.”Summarises evidence on health inequalities faced by lesbian, gay, bi, and trans people.
- GLAAD.“Bisexual People.”Clarifies myths about bisexuality and states that bi people are not confused, indecisive, or hiding.